"If you really love me, then you'll do it for me."
This is how the sentences from a lover boy's script sound.
What young girl doesn't wish for love? And this is exactly where the perfidious methods of the loverboys come in. The perpetrators usually search for underage girls on social media platforms and make contact with them. If the trap has been sprung, this is usually followed by a lengthy exchange via a messenger service, during which trust is built up. They are not stingy with compliments about the girl's appearance and manner and pretend to be in love.
In short: the lover boy presents himself as "Mr. Right" through clever manipulation.
"When we met for the first time, everything was already so familiar..."
The feeling of familiarity and closeness to each other is repeatedly cited by victims of the loverboy scam when they recall their first face-to-face meeting.
The flattery, the gifts, the chic outings to romantic venues... The forging of life plans together... The promise of a strong protector...
Victims of the loverboy scam unanimously describe a massive emotional dependency. In almost all cases, it is also reported that the perpetrator succeeded in isolating the victim from family and friends almost unnoticed.
"Well, at the time I thought he'd hit the jackpot..."
Once the alleged relationship is stable from the perpetrator's perspective and the victim is emotionally dependent enough, the time is right for them to "reveal" their financial problems.
As a rule, he blames the alleged lack of money/the alleged debts for not being able to realize their shared life dreams. There is pressure for a quick solution.
"This is all for our dream, for our life goal..."
The victim is made responsible for the failure of their future together if they are not prepared to solve the financial problems quickly. Massive pressure is exerted to get money within the shortest possible time. Temporary prostitution is suggested by the perpetrator as the only way to solve the problem. This suggestion is usually underlined with the demand to fight for the shared dreams and to prove unconditional love for the abuser.
In almost all loverboy cases, the victims reported a vicious circle between prostitution, emotional dependence and the fact that they could no longer help themselves.
Advice and help for those affected as well as tips for families, friends and acquaintances of those affected can be found here:
- "Sexual abuse of children and young people" hotline
0800 0431 431 - "Violence against women" helpline
116 016 - Sexual abuse helpline
0800 225 55 30 - Victim support organization Weißer Ring e.V.
116 006 - Criminal Investigation Department for Crime Prevention and Victim Protection of the Rhein-Berg Police
02202 205 444 - In acutely threatening situations always
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